Haven't kept up to date for a few days so thought I'd better make an addition.
Not a lot to say and very little learned. I'm starting to realise that one of the driving forces behind Facebook is the competitive instinct. You don't want you friends to be better poker players than you or even better keepy uppers (or even worse your sister in law is beating you). It then get's to the point that you don't want them to know more about the movies of Linsey Lohan, or be a better sex toy, or a more demented serial killer. You then have to own them and keep buying them back from seedy looking men called Keith.
I thought someone had a real crush on me as they were continually flirting with me - I then realised it was just to get their points up (why is everything just like school, although this time it wasn't a bet and the prize wasn't a Shaking Stevens poster.
I've decided that although I have become addicted Facebook still hasn't added any real value to my life. So once again I am going to change my game plan. I am going to make as many random friends as possible. Only this time - once I do I am going to communicate with them and see if I can learn something.
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Monday, 14 January 2008
Day 8
Another day's training so very little. In fact just one thing.
1) My brother is being whipped by my wife at keepy uppy.
You know when I read that back it sounds like the title of an episode of Jeremy Kyle.
1) My brother is being whipped by my wife at keepy uppy.
You know when I read that back it sounds like the title of an episode of Jeremy Kyle.
Sunday, 13 January 2008
Day 7
One week in and todays posting is late. I've been so busy flirting, kissing, buying people, playing poker and finding out what sort of slut I am (a prude apparently). So what have we learned after a week's booking?
1) How British am I? It says I'm a wanker - await the flood of responses saying "and it's right."
2) I'm flirint with a woman in South Africa who is totally gorgeous. Unfortunately she also seems to be a drawing. A 2 dimensional woman - every man's dream.
3) Have added the Getmaestro application. Looks crap but if you click on it you can play a selection of mixes that I have created. The Proclaimers vs Seal anyone? ps. The quality of the streaming isn't great so if they sound a funny speed or distorted - apologies.
4) Have been bought and sold again. The problem is it seems to be more for my tea making prowess than my sexual capabilities.
5) I may be busy for a few days writing movie reviews - after all the world needs to know what I think.
1) How British am I? It says I'm a wanker - await the flood of responses saying "and it's right."
2) I'm flirint with a woman in South Africa who is totally gorgeous. Unfortunately she also seems to be a drawing. A 2 dimensional woman - every man's dream.
3) Have added the Getmaestro application. Looks crap but if you click on it you can play a selection of mixes that I have created. The Proclaimers vs Seal anyone? ps. The quality of the streaming isn't great so if they sound a funny speed or distorted - apologies.
4) Have been bought and sold again. The problem is it seems to be more for my tea making prowess than my sexual capabilities.
5) I may be busy for a few days writing movie reviews - after all the world needs to know what I think.
Friday, 11 January 2008
Day 6
Learned very little today as I've been stuck in a very in depth training course (which ironically means I've actually learnt a lot but only stuff of real value.)
1) Have changed my profile pic as it was felt that my other one wasn't very alluring and therefore not attracting the requisite number of flirts. Of course if this picture doesn't work then maybe I have to accept that it's me that isn't too alluring.
2) Have started playing poker..........more news on iminent losses to follow.
1) Have changed my profile pic as it was felt that my other one wasn't very alluring and therefore not attracting the requisite number of flirts. Of course if this picture doesn't work then maybe I have to accept that it's me that isn't too alluring.
2) Have started playing poker..........more news on iminent losses to follow.
Thursday, 10 January 2008
Day 5
Is it Day 5 already?
And just like any marriage - after the first 4 days of excitement we're now reduced to playing boggle to pass the time.
Well it was fun while it lasted. So what have we learned today?
1) Facebook is just glorified Spam. You know those ridiculous emails that stupid people (mostly women) send out that go along the lines of "Pass this lucky carrot on to 50 of your closest friends and your bowels will be regular for the rest of the month."? Well that's all Facebook applications are - a way of clogging the internet. Or am I just in Network Management mode again?
2) I need more friends. Is there a desperate for friends application? Nearly everyone I know doesn't have a Facebook account. Then again nearly everyone I know doesn't NEED a Facebook account.
3) At least I can have a philosophical debate with my cousin and brother (see W.o.F.(as we call it in the trade(although I could have spelt out Wheel of Fortune in full but I wanted to save on keystrokes)) video).
4) And that's the way I think Facebook needs to go. Something more cerebral than the usual "What's your hamster shagger rating?" type of stuff. How about "What age of enlightenment philospher are you?" or "Send your friends a metaphysical poem" or "Can you crack the Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer conjecture?". Then the RIGHT sort of people might sign up to this thing.
And just like any marriage - after the first 4 days of excitement we're now reduced to playing boggle to pass the time.
Well it was fun while it lasted. So what have we learned today?
1) Facebook is just glorified Spam. You know those ridiculous emails that stupid people (mostly women) send out that go along the lines of "Pass this lucky carrot on to 50 of your closest friends and your bowels will be regular for the rest of the month."? Well that's all Facebook applications are - a way of clogging the internet. Or am I just in Network Management mode again?
2) I need more friends. Is there a desperate for friends application? Nearly everyone I know doesn't have a Facebook account. Then again nearly everyone I know doesn't NEED a Facebook account.
3) At least I can have a philosophical debate with my cousin and brother (see W.o.F.(as we call it in the trade(although I could have spelt out Wheel of Fortune in full but I wanted to save on keystrokes)) video).
4) And that's the way I think Facebook needs to go. Something more cerebral than the usual "What's your hamster shagger rating?" type of stuff. How about "What age of enlightenment philospher are you?" or "Send your friends a metaphysical poem" or "Can you crack the Birch and Swinnerton-Dyer conjecture?". Then the RIGHT sort of people might sign up to this thing.
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Day 4
By day 4 things are looking grim. I've decided rather than ignore requests I'm going to accept everything and see how cluttered I can really get.
Following a philosophical debate with the wife regarding the whole horoscope thing (just how bollocks is it?) I have decided to add a zodiac compatibility widget. Can't get any more scientific than that.
That said - her mum did find a book that points out Scorpios are the sexiest sign of the zodiac which is of course completely true.
On the subject of all things sexual - and it seems if you join facebook you have to go there eventually - we got a set of satin sheets for xmas which we're just trying out. Bloody hell, one false move and you spend the night on the floor and doggy styles about as easy as pushing a bus up a hill in the snow.
On the same subject I've received a "You've been hit by the sexy as fuck truck!!" message from my wife - well she feels she has to stroke my ego sometimes. Problem is it says send it on to 8 beautiful people - have you seen my friends list? I've got no chance.
Following a philosophical debate with the wife regarding the whole horoscope thing (just how bollocks is it?) I have decided to add a zodiac compatibility widget. Can't get any more scientific than that.
That said - her mum did find a book that points out Scorpios are the sexiest sign of the zodiac which is of course completely true.
On the subject of all things sexual - and it seems if you join facebook you have to go there eventually - we got a set of satin sheets for xmas which we're just trying out. Bloody hell, one false move and you spend the night on the floor and doggy styles about as easy as pushing a bus up a hill in the snow.
On the same subject I've received a "You've been hit by the sexy as fuck truck!!" message from my wife - well she feels she has to stroke my ego sometimes. Problem is it says send it on to 8 beautiful people - have you seen my friends list? I've got no chance.
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